Change for the good of ALL

(Temporary page – it will be deleted end of Friday 18 July BST)

Version 2 – 17 July 2014

The problem

Feminism has become a dirty word due to a vocal minority of anti-male extremists. Similarly, MRA has its share of extremists. The content produced by these extremists are fueling an unnecessary war between men and women.

Instead, we have all been subject to gender socialisation which starts from the moment we are born. Both men and women are complicit in the perpetuation of gender stereotypes that affect men and women. Most feminists are aware of this. (Are MRA?)

The solution

A blog on which feminists and MRA collaborate.

A blog can’t change the world. We have modest aims.

  • be a positive role model by example
  • demonstrate that feminists and MRA actually want the same thing, fairness for all genders
  • educate and inform
  • create a respected source so that each group can share their perspective

The audience

Young people (teenagers, 20s) who are in the process of defining themselves and looking for their place in the world.

People who have been exposed to extreme feminism or extreme MRA but who have doubts if it is the right path for them.

The benefits

  • by participating, some of us will learn something
  • some readers will be guided away from extremism
  • mutual respect and understanding

The process

The blog is based on a community of members.

Membership needs to be controlled somehow, because extremists can disrupt the group. E.g., by invitation only, restricted access until demonstrated good intentions or have to be vouched for by an existing member.

People have to either post articles or moderate articles (or both). All members have to be active. No tourists.

  1. new article is posted to a members-only holding area
  2. a peer (someone from the “other” group) volunteers to moderate it
  3. if no one volunteers, someone is assigned (based on how long ago they last moderated)
  4. options: a) push to live with no edits, b) edits and get sign-off from author, c) discussion with author to achieve common ground, d) escalation to member forum to discuss
  5. if no agreement can be reached, the article is not made public on the blog (the author can do what they want with their original version)
  6. rejected posts are posted to a members-only forum with a summary for why they were rejected (so that other people can learn from it)
  7. if a member’s posts are always rejected, consider their appropriateness for the blog
  8. ask members to agree to a code of practice by not posting any anti-feminist or anti-MRA content elsewhere while they are a member (a request, not enforceable)
  9. until a body of articles are built up that meet the criteria of the community, a chief moderator has final approval over all posts (the author can do what they want with their original version)

How do we measure success?

How do we know if our efforts are worth it? What do we look at to see if we’re making a positive difference?

The ground rules

  • Don’t share any personal information that can be later used to harm you

Version 1 – 10 July 2014

This is an invitation to all moderate feminists who have tweeted on the #YesAllWomen hashtag.

Please join a new mailing list (hosted on Yahoo) called yesallwomen.

It is a restricted group. Only members can post or view messages.

It is a moderated group. Members and posts have to be approved (by me, initially).

It was set up on 10 July 2014 by Paola Kathuria (@PootDibou & @paolability) to:

  • provide a safe place for awesome #YesAllWomen to stay in touch
  • discuss the setting up of a positive feminist blog that we will all contribute to

To subscribe, mail (anything) to – then tweet me @PootDibou to let me know.


  • invite new women by pointing them here:
  • your e-mail address won’t be displayed on posts
  • to send a message to the mailing list, mail
  • when you reply to a mailing list message, ALL members will receive the message (I can change this setting)

Why a blog?

There is a lot of radical feminism that is fueling MRA propaganda. If we are to change things, we need to show the moderate face of feminism.

One of the things that prompted this for me TODAY, was seeing the video below by a feminist film maker.

I knew that boys were also discriminated against but this video made me realise how bad it had become.

We need to work together to save girls AND boys from a very harmful gender divide.

I have a computer and Internet background. I have moderated (managed) mailing lists before. I am happy to set up a free blog and to moderate it. Moderation means that I’m the editor.

What is feminism

Emily Johnson – in comments on the The Mask You Live In – Trailer on YouTube – stated it perfectly:

Being a feminist mainly means you are against patriarchy. Seeing the problems which stem from the patriarchal society we live in is, in essence, a feminist cause.

Patriarchy hurts both men and women and feminists understand this. Being a feminist doesn’t automatically make you a misandrist.

From the moment we are born we are assigned roles based on what our gender signifies to the people in the society in which we live.

For example, girls play with dolls, they like the colors pink and yellow, they play dress up, they don’t like getting dirty, they like Dora the Explorer, and on and on. Boys, on the other hand, like playing with trucks, they like blue and green, they like running around and play fighting, they don’t mind getting dirty, they enjoy Thomas the Tank, and on and on.

This mindset is not fair to either gender. From the minute we are all born we already have expectations to meet. Boys need to be tough, strong, independent, they are not allowed to show emotions, they can’t show weakness.
Girls need to be sensitive and caring, loving, dependent, and they need to know how to make a good sandwich.

This separation will undoubtedly result in more than a handful of both men and women who do not fit these stereotypical classifications of what a man or a woman should be. And this is not fair, to anyone in our society, whether they are a man or a woman.

THIS is modern feminism.

The two problems with modern feminism is its name and its history. Feminism today is drastically different than feminism 30-40 years ago.

What’s my story

You might know me as @PootDibou on Twitter, debating, arguing and defending feminism on the #YesAllWomen hashtag.

I discovered the hashtag about five hours after it started. One of my #YesAllWomen tweets ended up in one of the first articles about the hashtag.

After my #YesAllWomen tweets, sharing my own experiences of sexism and sexual harassment, I stuck around to see what people were saying. What started as a ‘peaceful demonstration’ soon turned into a blood-bath.

Both men and women have told those of us who tweeted with #YesAllWomen that we are lying, or exaggerated or that we want to be victims. I’ve been told that women are as bad as dogs, that they’re stupid, that they’re sluts.

I have painfully become aware of Red Pill, MRA and PUA and am appalled by it.

Here’s what I have been up to with regard to #YesAllWomen:

Feel free to mail me if you have any questions. There is a comment form on my web site


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